Dating App Bio’s Make Me Think of Johnny Cash Eating Cake in a Bush

Pat Oates
3 min readJun 25, 2022

I don’t think there should be bio’s on dating apps or social media. Bio’s are basically someone saying who they are and what they want from a person that interacts with them. And I don’t want to meet anyone who knows who they are and what they want.

There is no image in the history of images that captures pure bliss more than the photo of a high as a human can get Johnny Cash inside shrubbery scooping cake with his bare hands. What does this have to do with a description of one’s self on the internet? Everything.

A bio on a dating app is supposed to give a quick look into a person. Many people come up with their bio based on a combination of past experiences and past relationships plus whatever hobbies or interests they are currently involved with. The hope is they will connect with someone who shares similar interests and also will act and think like they currently act and think. And that sounds boring as hell to me. And you know what isn’t boring? Johnny Cash in a bush munching dessert.

You think the man in black knew that one day he would be perched in a hedge chomping on a tasty cake? Of course not. Life just unexpectedly brought him to this joyous moment. I mean, drugs helped, of course. But also allowing himself to just go with and towards the unknown. And how about the person who took this picture? Do you think they woke up that day knowing that they would capture this combination of nature, pastry and icon in a snapshot? Of course they didn’t. If they ignored this in search of the sunset they normally sought, we would never have this meme masterpiece that generations would enjoy.

Too many people get to a certain age or point in their lives and come to the conclusion that they know who they are as a person. In their minds, they are a finished project. So, they need to be around like minded people who keep them in this comfort zone. Doing this limits them on what they experience. There are no more new experiences or knowledge obtained. They are done asking questions. They no longer embrace not knowing. They would rather know what they know and steer clear from the unknown. “I want someone who works this job or likes these foods or believes in this belief.” And to me, that is sad. Why would you want to bring someone who knows…

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Pat Oates

Author of How Not to Suck at Comedy. Comedian, podcaster, radio personality, pretended his mom was dead on tv once